WARNING: Jumbled Confessional

HI FRIENDS. 

So, recently I’ve been trying to figure out what is going on with me creatively. I haven’t really had much time or opportunity to create… Working 10am to 6pm, seven days a week, makes it hard enough to find the time to buy groceries, or even socialize. 

Of course, I am constantly scrolling through Instagram, flipping through magazines, and reading articles whenever I can. But when eight hours of every day are restricted to focusing on the task at hand — or risking a slap on the wrist for distracting yourself with email updates from Vogue and push notifications from CNN — its difficult to keep up to date on all the latest fashion, art, music, and politics. 

Additionally, and quite honestly, I’ve been pretty broke. Like the kind of broke where I can’t even use my credit card anymore (its been a lil rough). But its toughened me up, and given me a better perspective on where I need to focus my spending habits.

Working in fashion, or any field really, means keeping up with the latest trends while also creating your own innovative looks. It may sound like an excuse, but not being able to buy anything new for the last three months (besides one pair of pants) has made me begin to hate getting dressed in the morning… 

I mentioned that I stay up to date on the latest whatever as much as I can, but when I can’t actually implement anything of the latest whateverinto my every day looks, what does it matter? 

I’ve been feeling like everything in my closet in outdated, ugly, cheap looking, while at the same time finding myself unable to clear things out despite the fact that I only wear 20% of my wardrobe. Especially with living in NYC, where even the dressed-down and grungy kids look chic and effortless, while I’m over here wearing something I don’t even like anymore, and its had me feeling VERY stuck. It was hard to see so many people looking so good and feeling like I could never pull that off… 

Just to add to the pile of complaints… For a while I really felt like it didn’t matter what I wore anyway. Like anything in life, I started off my first internship by taking the time to look office-chic, but over time I began to wake up later and later (mostly due to exhaustion) and stopped doing my makeup, which led to me wearing more and more casual looks. Then I started another internship, and the cycle began again. No one saw me during the day besides my manager, and no one was around capture a photo of my outfit, so what was the point in trying?? I really didn’t know. 

Now I do. 

Feeling like your creativity is waining, feeling like you don’t look good, and not feeling any desire to try, can kick start a ROUGH cycle of self-doubt and loathing. Last night I talked to some creative friends about this dip in creative energy and they told me that the same thing happened to them when they first moved to New York. The causes may have varied, but the results were the same:

    Lack in Creative Ideas. (for photoshoots, outfits, articles, stories, poems, make, hair, music, whatever your outlet).

    Dip in Creative Effort. (ceasing to produce, no desire to even try, saying no to projects).

    Self-Doubt & Loathing. (feeling like maybe you’re not a creative, like you’re in the wrong industry, like its not going to work out for you). 

    Frustration with Everything. (pursuing to discover the causes of this depressing drought of ideas, passion, and desire).

    Figuring Out What Needs to Change. (self explanatory). 

If you’re still wondering: What’s the point in trying? Its you. You are the point.

YOU are the one who not only considers  yourself to be “a creative” - you also need a creative outlet, work in a creative field, and derive a good portion of your happiness from the ability, opportunity, and process of creating. 

So, unfortunately once again my motivation to create fun, smart, cool, and/or different looks every day was a new internship. BUT, but, its FINALLY a creative internship. So looking good is kind of a requirement, THERE IS A POINT outside of myself. And this time, it stuck. It’s been two months, and I’m still wearing combinations I’ve never worn, grabbing forgotten and abandoned pieces out of my closet, and feeling good about the things I’ve put together. I also bought some new shoes. (shh). 

I’ve gone through comfy and casual phases before… but its never mattered so much to me (mostly because I didn’t care or have to try during high school and college as much as I do now). Now, I think what was most upsetting about the blockage in my creative flow, was that I was finally in a setting where 1. I cared. 2. it mattered. 3. it would be appreciated. 4. I was (am) surrounded by inspiration. 

New York is CRAWLING with stylish people, not only NYC residents but also visitors from around the world!! THERE IS SO MUCH INSPIRATION. And people are looking at, appreciating, and commenting on your creation. There’s nothing better than a chic European complementing your look, or a piece of it. Wait, actually there is: when that European is a stylist doing a studio pull at Bloomingdales, and you’re sitting there admiring the collection of pieces she’s chosen, and she looks at your and says “UGH, I love those pants. Your look, its so good. You look good!” 

LIKE OMG WHAT GIRL THAT YOU OMG NO YOU LOOK GOOD OMG NO THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. - me. 

Anyways, the point of this article is this: I am revamping my digital creative outlet: my website. And I’ve decided that I don’t care if anyone ever sees any of it, or even this piece! (although it’d be nice). I’ve discovered that if I’m going to be honest with myself, I need to admit that I need a catch-all for my creativity, and that I also need a motivation. If I set goals for myself, provide myself a platform to fulfill those goals, and keep myself accountable by admitting that this is something that I need to be happy, that its all I need. 

I’ve been brainstorming some ideas for what I am going to do on my new creative outlet platform, and I’ve also decided that it doesn’t matter that I won’t be consistent. I’m not a blogger or whatever, and this is mostly just for me. So when I have the time, and when my ideas work out, there will be some content on here for those of you who give a sh*t! :) <3

FALL 2017 TRENDS ~ 70s Silhouettes, Menswear, & Warm Solids

Its officially September, and so its time to start looking ahead and getting excited about this year's autumnal trends. However, we're definitely still experiencing summer weather, so I've made a simple trend board to ease my mind as I wait in anticipation for the temperature to drop. This season its all about 70s silhouettes, menswear inspired looks, and a pop of red or orange! 

Images Sourced from Pinterest

Images Sourced from Pinterest

WAYS TO KEEP THE PEACE IN A BIG CITY (NYC) 

I’ve lived in (or directly next to) a metropolitan for most of my life, but Minneapolis is no N.Y.C. *obviously*

While I am used to a few skyscrapers surrounding me, I am also used to an abundance of nature and fresh air very near by, as well as a little goddamn peace and quiet. 

NYC is its own creature, and sometimes that creature needs to take a freakin’ nap and give you a little time for some R&R ~ but it won’t, so… how does one find some goddamn peace in the middle of all this noise and chaos? 

Here are my tips: 

  1. Bring a novel with you everywhere you go. Read while on the subway, or at a park for your lunch break. Focusing on a beautifully written story will allow you to forget about everything and immerse yourself in an alternate reality, even if only for 5 minutes. Plus, reading puts your brain to work, and that’s a very good thing. 
    1. Currently reading Nausea by Jean Paul Sartre - a philosophical novel by the existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, published in 1938.  The eloquently written faux-diary of a French Historian is the perfect reading piece for picking-up and putting-down constantly, but never losing the story. 
  2. Download a peaceful / chill playlist to your Spotify Offline. Getting a signal on the subway can be tricky, and you DO NOT want to use up all of your data even if you can find it. By taking the playlist offline you can put it on anywhere you go, and drown out the noise for a bit. (Benefits of relaxing music).
    1. Check out my favorite chill playlist here. I prefer a mix of electric, dreamscape music paired with acoustic, folksy tunes to mellow out while at the same time changing the mood every so often ~ because sometimes chill music can be so sad… 
  3. Take advantage of bad weather. Rainy/snowy days are the BEST for chilling out in a dim and cozy space, watching a movie, and taking a breath. While stimulating your brain with a good book is always a good thing, sometimes we need to let ourselves veg out. Also, make a to-do list and take the time that this bad weather has given you to pick-up your room, do the dishes and laundry, etc. All of those household things you'd rather not be doing on a beautiful day, do them today. 
    1. My recommendation: Harry Potter marathon, taking breaks throughout to get those annoying chores done. Its perfect for groggy days and there are enough of them to fill the whole day! 
  4. Listen to non-fiction audiobooks. I recommend “self-help” and memoir-type non-ficion because they kind of feel like podcasts, and listening to these types of books is an easy way to distill some education into your hustle and bustle type of days, when you just don’t have the time to sit down and read.
    1. Big Magic or The Art of Not Giving a Fuck are a couple of great options. The former is great for getting the creative juices flowing, or simply just for understanding your own creativity. The latter, well its in the title, is it not? 
  5. Find time to spend with friends and family. This is vital. The busier we get, the harder and harder it becomes to find a time where everyone is free. But a lack of socialization can drive anyone crazy. Schedule in quick coffee and lunch dates, and look at local event calendars to find out when there are chill-out events going on that you can both/all make it to. 
    1. In NYC this summer, HBO has a Movies in the Park series at Bryant Park, I recommend grabbing a bottle of wine and some snacks, throwing down a blanket, and enjoying the city from a rare grassy knoll with friends. 

I’ve only lived in the Big Apple for two months, but I think that these tips are pretty solid and well rounded! Please tag me in any implementations! :) 

 

"The Month of Love"

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    These days love can be hard to muster, hard to find, hard to believe in. With a country founded on the idea that people should have the chance to make their dreams come true by coming to a land of opportunity, one that was founded on the right to free speech , the right to freely protest and to question the government, it is hard to watch what is happening in the United States and feel love and to feel loved. 

    But as we’ve seen in the past two weeks, LOVE REALLY CAN TRUMP HATE. Millions of people have taken it to the streets to show just how much love there really is in the world, and to show the disenfranchised that they are not alone. 

    This month, that is what I will be focusing on. Spreading Love & Positivity, Fighting for Love & Acceptance & Inclusion & Understanding.